I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
