I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
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