dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
