He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
