Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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