Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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