Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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