'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
