she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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