i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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