Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
