In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
