yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
