this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
