i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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