Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
babies were throwing up all over the place
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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