This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
