are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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