How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
