just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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