how hairy? two words: wookie tits
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
