Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
