it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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