I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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