oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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