Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
