When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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