Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
