i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
