he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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