Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
