There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
These tits shall not be calmed
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
