Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
