i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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