I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
