I feel like abortions should bother me more
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
