Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
