It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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