so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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