1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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