Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
