I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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