Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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