He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
