I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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