the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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