ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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