i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
