no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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