Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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