Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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