do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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