All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
