Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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