wat bout pragnant strippers??
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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