She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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