Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
