i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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