Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Quick, to the slutcave!
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
