My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
