I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
