We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
