3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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