girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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