I met the friendliest cop last night
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
