hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
