so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
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