Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize