how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
