feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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