found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
