Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
